A Wondrous Word

This has been a very busy week for me--I spent Monday with my little SuperPreschooler, yesterday chasing housing possibilities and doing some DIY around my friend's basement, where I'm staying right now, and today is about filling out endless paperwork for the government--so there's been virtually no reading. As I have no new words to offer for Wondrous Words Wednesday, I thought I would let you in on a little secret that you may not know about the very word "secret," as well as the word "secrete."

I discovered this fact several years ago, thanks to my obsessive Anglophile viewing habits, while watching the delightful little British comedy, The Thin Blue Line. Rowan Atkinson (of Mr. Bean fame) stars as the senior officer in a local British police constabulary, and in the episode entitled The Queen's Birthday Present, has the following exchange during a training exercise with one Constable Goody.

(Atkinson): Walk towards me. Oops, I do beg your pardon.
(Subordinate): - It's quite all right, sir.
Not all right for you, I fear, Goody, because I have relieved you of the contents of your pocket. In this case, a Mars bar. Constable Goody, a Mars bar is scarcely police equipment, is it?
- No, sir.
"No, sir," indeed, sir. Are there any other items of confectionery secreted about your person?
-No, sir. 
And by that you mean?
-I've got a Curly Wurly in my truncheon pouch.
In that case, get it out before it melts and soils the queen's trousers.
-It's not going to melt, is it? It's going to get eaten.
Great jangling jehovah, it is not! I've never heard of such a thing. I will not have my officers gorging themselves whilst on duty. Hand it over. Now sit down.

(Text courtesy of the site Springfield! Springfield!)

The implication of this dialog is as follows:

1. The word "secrete" has two completely unrelated meanings. The first is that we usually think of, i.e. an organism producing a chemical of some kind. For example, the human body secretes endorphins into the bloodstream when we experience pain, to help us cope with the discomfort. The second meaning, however, involves hiding something away in the hope that others won't discover it.

2. "Secret" is a very common noun--"I have a secret."--and we are all familiar with its adjectival form, as well, e.g. "We have a secret plan to give Bob a 40th birthday party." However, it also has a verb form, namely "to secrete," to hide something away. If you already knew that, forgive me for spending so much time on repeat information. But if you didn't, I think you'll agree with me that our wonderful language never ceases to surprise.

Happy wording!

I Heart Judi Dench! : A Review...

I simple ADORE Dame Judi Dench, and she IS an actual dame of the British Empire.  I think we all know that NONE of us want to get me started on the British honors system (a.k.a. that deal where the Queen goes around "knighting" people every year), the intricacies of how it works and the fact that most people who get referred to as "sir" or "dame," especially by us Americans, don't actually have a right to the title, but sufficeth to say that DAME Judi Dench DOES have a right to the title, and personally, I think she earned it.  She sweated in a lot of Shakespearean costumes and labored to give a lot of theater-goers their money's worth to get that title.  On with the review.

 

And Furthermore

by Judi Dench
(as told to John Miller)

March 8, 2012

 Celebrity memoirs often seem like they will be simply fascinating until you actually start reading them, and then they all develop the same problem--they talk endlessly about a HUGE group of people, none of whom has the reader ever heard before.  Other actors, movie executives, agents, members of various filming crews, acting instructors and countless others are all described in excruciating detail, along with a rough sketch of their impact, for good or ill, upon the person telling his or her own story.  While this book does not entirely escape that pitfall, a couple of mitigating factors made it far better about the issue than most I've read.

First off, as we all know, Britain is quite a small island, so the number of its actors with careers as long-lasting and broad-ranging as Judi Dench's forms a pretty exclusive club.  When we take into account the fact that she has spent most of her career doing Shakespeare on stage in companies like the RSC (Royal Shakespeare Company) and the Old Vic, that club gets even much smaller.  So a number of the names she dropped at least rang a bell for me, and some were very familiar, indeed.  Secondly, Judi Dench is just so entertaining, and she so infectiously enjoys life, that I happily read her telling me stories about complete strangers!

Best of all, in this book she finally dedicated an entire chapter just to talking about television series in which she has starred, something she didn't really do in previous publications.  That chapter was all too brief, in my opinion, since I simply ADORE As Time Goes By, but it was a lot of fun to read, all the same.

Low-Fat Grande Escutcheon

I for one feel that it is high-time I indulged myself in a geek-out on my blog, and a nice, unseasonably warm November day just before Thanksgiving seems like the perfect time.  Everybody's taking a little time off from the usual grind; even my Good Man Michael should be home any minute, and doesn't have to go back to work until Monday.  Yay!  Anyway, I believe I'll take a holiday pause and introduce all of you to one of my favorite hobbies.  For those of you who already know all about the topic, hope you enjoy the refresher.

So, the first question is, of course, "What the Hell is an 'escutcheon', JNCL?"  Well, it's just another word--in this case, the Latin word--for "shield," and is often used to refer to our topic for today, coats of arms.  "Okay.  Clear as mud.  What's a coat of arms?"  Maybe this crudely drawn visual aid I created will help.

Illustration 1
Coat of Arms

Ring any bells now?  You may know this device as a "crest," but as you can see from Illustration 1, the crest is actually a piece of the whole coat of arms, not its proper title.  (By-the-way, just for the information, "supporters" are not normally big, gray ovals; they're normally some kind of animal literally holding up the shield in their paws, but my artistic skills weren't up to that, so you'll just have to use your imaginations.)  As a subject of study, coats of arms and everything relating to them are referred to as "heraldry," and those in countries around the world whose job it is to create and register coats of arms are called "heralds".  In medieval Europe, heralds also had the job of ensuring that no one was cribbing someone else's arms, and announcing the identity of their master in a tournament.  ("Hark!  The Herald Angels Sing!"  Haven't you always wondered what that meant?  Well, now you know.)

As an American whose ancestry is mostly Celtic and Anglo-Saxon--not to mention a completely obsessive Anglophile--I tend to prefer my heraldry constructed according to the rules established in the UK.  I can recognize the styles of numerous other countries on sight, as many of them are quite distinctive, but when I design a coat of arms myself--yes, I dabble with it on occasion as gifts for friends and such--I tend to follow the British guidelines pretty closely.  With one HUGE, glaring exception.  In the United Kingdom, women don't have their own coats of arms.  Ever.  Except on the rare occasion when every male heir in a family has died, leaving only her.  Or on the even rarer occasions when a woman becomes the sovereign.  Elizabeth II has arms that are hers, and will be inherited by her son when he becomes king.  Most British women don't get that privilege.

No, women get to use their father's coat of arms "by courtesy," and they don't get to use a shield, or the helmet, because such military symbols are supposedly inappropriate for ladies.  Nor does she get the motto, which was originally just a sort of battle cry.  Obviously, these rules have been around a LOOOOOONG-ass time.

Illustration 2
Arms of an Unmarried Woman

An unmarried woman bears her father's arms on a diamond-shaped, um, something, called a lozenge.  (Since we're not allowed to call it a shield, "something" sounded better than "blob.")  To show that she's single, or "eligible" for us Jane Austen fans, she has a "true lover's knot" on top of the lozenge, which goes away when she gets married. 

Illustration 3
Arms of Fictitious Husband

And that's not the only change; her husband's arms get added to her father's, so now her identity is a mix of two men, instead of just one.  How flattering for her.  On the upside, though, she finally gets a shield, once again "by courtesy," because she gets to borrow her husband's.  There are a few other ways to arrange the two arms, but this one is pretty standard.

Illustration 4
Arms of Married Woman

However, when he dies, she'll have to give it back--to their son, her husband's heir.

Illustration 5
Arms of Widow

So, there she is, back to a lozenge-thingamy, with two halves of two coats of arms smushed together, usually with visually unimpressive results, and occasionally, an outcome that is just flat ugly.  My personal favorites are the ones where a bird's wing or something is sticking at random out of the other half of these hybrid arms.  "Always good [entertainment] value," as Ron Weasley would say.

And if you're wondering if anyone on Earth gives a flying fart in space about this anymore, I refer you to the arms of THE FATHER OF Catherine Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, granted on 19 April 2011, drawn in Illustration 6 as they were borne by Princess Catherine before she married Prince William.

Illustration 6
Arms of Miss Catherine Middleton
Artist: Sodacan 

Of course, her lozenge-blob has to be special, because she was the prince's fiancee.  When she finally became a princess by marriage, her arms "by courtesy" became this.

Illustration 7
Arms of HRH Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge
Artist: Sodacan

Unlike all other women in the United Kingdom--except those rare, chosen few who actually own their own arms because they ran out of male relatives--those closely related to the sovereign by birth or marriage get "courtesy" supporters.  Such "courteous" people, aren't we?

Now, the final question is this: now that they made women fully equal heirs to the throne of the UK and the Commonwealth Realms, will they FINALLY be able to receive arms in their own right?  And to all you lucky women out there who are Canadian citizens, you are ALREADY entitled to be granted arms, so if you have the money and the inclination, apply for some!  The more armigerous (meaning "owning a coat of arms") women the better!

World Eclecticism

This is something I've been wanting to do for a while, and tonight I just decided there was no time like the present.  I know it probably makes me a semi-pathetic blogger, but I can't help but get excited when I'm notified that someone from an entirely new country has just visited my blog for the first time!  So, I present to you the map of The Beauty of Eclecticism (as of December 12, 2011).
 


Click to Embiggen!

If you've visited and your country is not yet lit up in color, please let me know in the comments, and I will rectify the situation.  And by-the-way, to all you dear members of the Commonwealth Realms, yes, I do know that you're independent countries with HM QEII as your sovereign; I didn't mean to imply that you're all just part of the UK.  However, I was quickly running out of colors, so I gave all Her Majesty's realms the royal red.  Hope you don't mind.

Welcome, Cyprus, our newest visitor to the eclectic chaos that is my mind!

To the under-represented continents let me just say, South America, we hope to see you soon!  And Africa, I'd be honored to hear more from you in the coming days, as well.

Update on December 12, 2011--Welcome, Brazil!  And thank you for putting South America on my map.

Long Live the Monarch

Okay, Royal Watchers--and those of you who aren't, I'm afraid you're along for the ride on MY royal watching for this post--HUGE news out of the Commonwealth today.  The laws of succession have officially been changed, or at least, they will be as soon as the paperwork is done.  Any oldest child of the reigning monarch, regardless of sex, will be the heir apparent to the throne.  (Don't worry, this doesn't change anything about the present; Charles IS the oldest child, and he only has sons.)  Moreover, the monarch can marry a Roman Catholic, so we can finally consider THAT witch hunt called off after 500 years, although the monarch still can't BE a Catholic, because he or she has to be the head of the ANGLICAN church.  So that would be a bit awkward.

What many Americans may not realize is how severely limited the Queen's role is, and that Parliament--not the sovereign--controls matters like the laws of succession.  The monarch has to be above disputes over politics, so if Parliament issues a law, the Queen is not allowed to publicly comment on it.  However, according to the newscast I saw on-line today about this big announcement, the Queen allowed it to get out through the usual channels, i.e. a private secretary was allowed to speak anonymously to the press, that she was in favor of these reforms that would bring the UK somewhere within sight of the 21st century.  Imagine that!  A Queen who is in favor of gender equality.  God save Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.

God Save the Queen

Image courtesy of
Acorn Media

Just a brief note to let you all know about an awesome new favorite of mine that I've discovered in the past few days, and to lament the fact that they didn't make many, many more episodes of it.  I may be the last person in the Western hemisphere to have discovered the docudrama entitled simply, "The Queen," but I have to say, I LOVED it.  If you haven't seen this amazing series yet, and if you're even a mildly interested "royal watcher," then you MUST do yourself a favor and see this one.  It's available to buy from Acorn Media, the same lovely people who gave us such British favorites as "Midsomer Murders" and "Prime Suspect," to buy or rent from Amazon, to stream or on DVD from Netflix--in other words, you'll have no trouble laying your hands on it.  Though I knew many of the elements of the stories told, there were some surprises for me, and more importantly, even the familiar details simply held me riveted, because of some well-executed acting and great storytelling.  Only one character really didn't ring true for me, but I won't say who; I'll let you make up your own minds.  Other than that slightly jarring note, this show was perfection.  (Of course, I'm also a royalist at heart, I must admit.)  Anyway, I highly recommend this one.  Hope you're all enjoying your weekend.