October 20, 2011

5 Minutes Beyond Despair

It's 5-Minute Friday with The Gypsy Mama.  The theme this week is, "Beyond."  How very apropos.


Someone once told me, on one of the absolute worst days of my life, about 48 hours after my plane touched down on the return flight from going "home" for my father's funeral, "Trust me, in six months, you won't even know yourself."  They were words I really needed to hear just then.  I was so beyond despair, so beyond disconsolacy.  My father was my world when I was a child; I loved my mother dearly, but Dad and I were always two peas in a pod.

It wasn't until Mom died earlier this year that I truly learned how close she and I had been, as well, how special she was to me and how much I had depended on her.  Our relationship was always incredibly good, but like I said, I had been Daddy's girl for so long that I had forgotten that Mom was, in many ways, my best friend. 

It turned out to be true that I had come a long way six months after my father's death, but it was about two years before life really began to move beyond the crushing moment of that loss.  Now, some nine months after Mom's death, I am again beginning to see daylight.  But the sky got a little dark today.

Circumstances.  Overwhelming circumstances, burdens from which I'm not sure how I'll ever escape and I can only look up to the sky  "from the depths," as King David said.  Lord, how are You going to get me beyond THIS?  How will we ever get free?  THIS looks bigger than anything I have ever faced.  And yet, each major challenge in my life was the biggest thing I'd ever faced up to that moment.  You got me through and beyond each one.  I need one of Your miracles.  Only You can do wonders of this kind.  "As the servant looks to his master, as the eyes of a handmaid look to her mistress," so I call upon You to carry me beyond all my grief, my despair, my terror and pain.  I need to know there will be a day beyond this day.  Maybe having my eyes land on the words "Five-Minute Friday: Beyond" when they popped up on my screen was the beginning of Your assurance that there will be a tomorrow, there will be something beyond this.  I certainly hope so.

4 comments:

  1. That's just the rules that the creator of the book blog hop came up with :)

    -As the spine breaks

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  2. I am so sorry for your hurt and pain, however when I am going through despair I always refer to Jeremiah 29:11; " For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

    Your trust and faith in Him will pull you through and give you the strength to overcome any burdens you bear. :)

    Blessings and love,
    Denise

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  3. Denise, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. They were much-needed, and greatly appreciated.

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  4. Hi JNCL - Firstly, thank you for visiting and commenting on my James series. I always appreciate input as I know I have so much to learn. Secondly, thank you for joining my bloghop. Its goal is for people joining it to encourage and be encouraged and I hope you were. And thirdly, I'm glad I came back over. You can feel your heartbreak and when things break our hearts, we do want to know if we can get beyond it. God's grace and mercy are all we have to cling to sometimes. But He says its enough.
    God bless
    Tracy

    ReplyDelete

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